Comic 23 : The Hobbit Movie : Eighty Percent CGI Elves
What a silly thing I have made.
HEY GUYS GUESS WHICH MINOR CHARACTER WILL TRAGICALLY DIE IN THE FINAL CLIMACTIC BATTLE
If the first Hobbit movie was ridiculously unfaithful to the book, wait until you see the second one.
Look! Will Turner is suddenly King of Dale! Aw, and Thranduil is offering his help to the Dwarves instead of locking them up in the dungeons for being stubborn and menacing. How sweet. Maybe he’ll offer them lollipops and helium balloons on their way out.
Argh. I realize this may seem a bit harsh on the movies, but frankly, I’m sick of disloyal film adaptations. It doesn’t actually seem that bad overall; what really bugs me is the gratuitous side-villain with the stupid spiky arm that was supposed to have died decades ago, and whatshername, the ginger stick-in-the-mud. Absolutely pointless extra characters who only make things seem overly dramatic. Grr.
Possibly what bothers me the most about miss scowly-face is that she is an Elf. More specifically, she is an Elf who is the romantic interest.
Think about it. If Elves went around having descendants all over the place like Humans do, the entire planet would be overpopulated with elves because they are immortal. So I figured that, to reduce the chances of overpopulation, they would have a much weaker sex drive than Humans do, and only like a quarter would ever fall in love at all, much less have children. That the romantic interest in the film should be an Elf would simply be statistically improbable. Of course, this is just my theory, but it is still science, and it bothers me that science is being contradicted here. Even if it’s just hypothetical science.
There. My frustrations have been vented.
Posted on October 4, 2013, in Comics, Random Thoughts and tagged comics, desolation of smaug, Elves, elvish, gaming, Hobbit movie, Legolas, the hobbit, the hobbit trailer. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.